If you’re getting a separation, your life is likely to make a complete 180. But that doesn’t mean that it has to be the end-all moment of your life. Even though a lawyer can help make it easier to get the legal things handled, you can do some things for yourself to make the emotional separation easier.
Keep the Divorce Proceedings and the Way You Feel Distinctly Separate
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling hurt, angry, or deceived when you are approaching a divorce. It’s tough on everyone, and you are completely entitled to the emotions you are feeling. However, it’s extremely important that you keep the way you feel from affecting how you act during legal proceedings. Keeping emotionally distant from the separation will help ensure that you go after what you want in the divorce and not just what will hurt the other person. Many people, because of anger and other negative emotions, will go after particular property just to hurt the other party. This delays the proceedings and everyone involved will take longer to heal.
Don’t Lash Out at Your Ex-Spouse
It may be tempting to demean or hurt your ex-spouse on purpose because of particular actions on their part, but that certainly doesn’t mean that you should give into those temptations. Though you don’t necessarily need to be friendly, being civil will make the process easier for everyone involved. Think about it: if you’re feeling bitter or spiteful and you act out in those emotions, will it help make the case go faster? The answer is usually a resounding “no”. If you can’t seem to remain civil with your ex-spouse, consider seeking a mediator or negotiator to assist you. In California, if you cannot afford a mediator and meet certain income eligibilities, you can often receive services free of charge.
Be Careful with What You Share
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s important to talk to those whom you love and trust. However, giving away too much information to those who cannot be trusted can lead to misunderstandings and more hurt feelings. In addition, saying the improper things to your ex-spouse can lead to manipulation in court, especially if what you said could be interpreted as vicious or abusive in any way. Always talk to your lawyer before saying anything to your ex-spouse.
Find a Good Californian Attorney
A good attorney will make or break a case, and a good one will make the process smooth so you can move on with your life. A good attorney will help you go over your case thoroughly and will help you plan out how to deal with child support, custody, alimony, and other separation details.
