So you’re going through a nasty divorce, and your soon-to-be-ex isn’t being the best of sports. You may feel frustrated and feel like the important issue at hand is how you’re feeling, not what happens during the divorce proceedings. However, no matter what you think, the most important aspect of a divorce is actually the “business side” of the entire ordeal.

When you start to get emotional and the divorce becomes stressful for you, remember to think like many judges do: think this divorce is a “business transaction”. This means that though there are obviously more than finances involved in a divorce, you should be focusing on dividing assets, liabilities, and responsibilities as equally as possible between the two of you.

In fact, it’s common for a court not to address the reasons behind a divorce. Even if your spouse cheated on you, ruined your life, and then is making the divorce as difficult as humanly possible, this is often not the concern of a Californian court, even if these matters are important to you.

Even if the divorce is one person’s “fault,” it’s more important to focus on what you can do to end the proceedings swiftly. You, like the judge, should be more interested in making sure the divorce goes smoothly, you get what you need, and then walking away to fix the damage caused to your life by having to divorce a person.

So if you’re early in the proceedings of a Californian divorce, or you’re just beginning one, remember that blaming the other person won’t get you anywhere. Being civil, collected, and organized will get you much further. Your time is better used concentrating on what you need out of the divorce and less on how to make your ex-significant other pay for the problems he or she caused.

If you feel overwhelmed by anything, contact a local attorney to help you make sense of it all before you head into court.