Regardless if you’re having a nasty divorce or good one, living in the same home while it happens can be difficult at best. Although sometimes you have to continue to share space while a divorce goes through because neither one of you can afford another California space to live in, you still have to act like you live in two separate spaces.

Once you get separated, it’s important you also stop “cohabitating.” This means that you must live even more separately than even roommates might. You have to stop wearing wedding rings, stop cooking for two, and stop doing anything for your soon to be ex. It’s difficult, but it’s completely necessary to convince the courts that you are serious about your divorce.

Don’t let your feelings of guilt get in the way. Just because you cook for all of the kids doesn’t mean you cook for him or her, too. It may mean that your ex-spouse has to fend for themselves, but that’s just part of what getting a divorce means.

The judge, when he or she hears your case, will want to know if you have been living separately. Since you have both been living in the same home, you have to prove that you have actually been living separate lives. Sometimes the judge won’t go into detail, but when they do, you have to answer honestly. When the answer indicates that you have not, in fact, been living separate lives, the judge has every right to deny your divorce.

It’s much better for both parties involved if you separate your lives completely. Because we are human, sometimes we may wind up having to do things together, such as picking up the kids and sharing cars. However, you must do as much as you can separately, even when it’s inconvenient. You are, after all, planning to no longer be married.