The explosion of social media has created several potential issues for individuals contemplating a divorce or in the process of completing a dissolution of marriage. Even if the process is going well, a misstep with a social media site can seriously impede the process and adversely affect the outcome of the proceeding.
Here are some common-sense suggestions to keep social media in its place during the divorce proceedings:
1. The Golden Rule Of Social Media: Be Nice
Just like your parents and teachers used to advise, if you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all. Realize that everything you post or to which you respond can be seen by many people, even if you have limited who has access. If anyone who is in contact with your soon to be ex-spouse, or their attorney, can see your social media accounts, any negative comments you make about the divorce can be leaked. All it takes is a screenshot and selected parts of your “protected” account can land in your ex’s inbox. Make sure anything you say is neutral or try not to mention the divorce at all.
2. Tone Is Impossible To Read Accurately On Social Media: Just The Facts, Ma’am
What you may have meant as a gentle ribbing or a factual accounting can be interpreted as hostile and aggressive. Avoid mentioning the breakup and any issues you are having with your husband or wife. This is also true in emails and texts; state facts only with few adverbs and adjectives. Keep in mind that texts and emails are admissible as evidence in most jurisdictions. Set the brakes.
3. Re-evaluate Your Privacy Settings: Keep Your Shades Down
Comb through your friends and contacts and block or limit content sharing with your ex and his or her family, friends and co-workers. Stop tagging photos and disable the function even for your previous pictures.
4. Eliminate Or Limit The “Social” On Social Media: Keep Your Head Down
Know that even an innocent photo of you with an acquaintance or in a certain place can exacerbate the situation. Even though both of you may be moving on, pictures from a party or another social gathering can incite drama. Particularly if you are dealing with custody issues make sure you are not seen as the gal or guy out on the town. If either of you have concerns with the other spouse’s chemical or alcohol use just don’t participate in even a seemingly innocent picture where cans, bottles or paraphernalia are present.
5. Do Not Trust Disappearing Social Media: Some Things Are More Permanent Than You Think
Apps like Snapchat have built in expiration, but all it takes is a screenshot or forwarding as another type of communication for a picture you thought was just a lark to become part of your ex’s arsenal against you. Assume all social media has the potential to be viewed and retained by your ex.
6. Location, Location, Location: Do Not Share
Resist the impulse or others’ desire to check you in and remember that location functions on some social media allow a potentially damaging timeline to be recorded. If you are afraid of your spouse or if allegations of abuse have been leveled at you do not let these high tech options paint you into a corner you cannot easily exit.
7. Relationship Status: Avoid The Discussion And The Buttons
It should be obvious, but do not trumpet your new relationship status on social media. Resist the temptation to use the settings on Facebook to quickly declare your current status and also refrain from discussing your current situation. Even innocuous questions about the relationship should not be answered in these forums.
8. Keep Business To Yourself: Break The Links
Social Media sites like LinkedIn seem less social and more business-like, but remember your job, talents and endorsements may have an effect on the financial side of a divorce. Be wary.
9. Bragging Rights: Are So Wrong
You will need to disclose much during the dissolution proceedings but do not set yourself up by exaggeration or bragging. The pictures of the new car or the vacation share too much information at a sensitive time. Courts are not amused if you claim financial hardship after blowing money on possessions or experiences.
10. Too Hard? Shut Them Down
If abiding by these tips is too difficult during the divorce, close one, two or all of your accounts for the duration. That way no slips ups are possible and you can always reopen the accounts after the divorce is completed.
